The Thomas Merton Center at Bellarmine University

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Author QuotedMarie-Eugène de l'Enfant Jesus, O.C.D.
Title QuotedJe suis fille d'eglise
Date (Year/Month/Day)1953/02/24
Imprint[S.l.] : Editions du Carmel. 1951
QuotationYesterday, began our Lenten book, Je suis fille d'eglise [I Am a Daughter of the Church, by P. Marie-Eugène, O.C.D.], about Theresian mysticism. Glad to get it but terribly oppressed by the necessity to read about mystical prayer. Noise of trucks coming through the window. Sunlight in the room. Very happy to be here, and yet feeling tense and ashamed and poor. Pushed ahead with the reading as a pure effort of obedience. And I mean effort. No help, no relief, except to look at the harmless titles of the books on the shelf in front of me, books that I will never have to touch. (Jesus All Good; Methode pour assister les malades, etc.) Gone are the days when "mysticism" was for me a matter of eager and speculative interest. Now, because it is my life, it is torment to think about.
Quotation SourceA Search for Solitude: Pursuing the Monk's True Life. The Journals of Thomas Merton, Volume 3, 1952-1960.; Edited by Lawrence S. Cunningham. / San Francisco : Harper Collins. 1996, p. 36
Link to Merton's Copy